honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
