you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
