Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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