The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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