She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
