yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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