is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
