Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
