he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Panties = found
Randomize
