I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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