I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
