I bet he comes in French.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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