I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need help removing her.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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