well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
