i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
