we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
