I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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