I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
