fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
