I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
