fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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