i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
