someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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