I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
