Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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