Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
