He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
