My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
