I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
