i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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