38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
