If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
