Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
