tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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