ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
