but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
