I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
