My sheets look like a crime scene.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
