I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
