new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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