Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
