I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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