I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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