With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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