i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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