just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
