I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
