so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
