There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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