This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
