When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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