Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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